so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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