so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
