somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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