he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
