Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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