you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
