They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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