Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
