Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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