i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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