How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
