I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's the barista slut.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
