By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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