the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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