my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
