My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
