At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
