I never want to see another naked old woman again.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
