I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
