she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize