this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
