it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
