I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
