one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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