Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
