You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
