Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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