i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
