when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
