She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
