When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
