So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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