I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize