your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
