They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
