You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that's an acceptable place to lick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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