i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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