Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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