i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
