Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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