im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
