Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
