I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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