the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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