I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
