if i can run in heels then i can drive
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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