I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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