I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
