Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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