do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
