We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
