he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
