Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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