I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
