I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
