I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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