let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
