she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
